Goodbye Mommy

     FOR THE 38TH   

It was something that i never thought would happen that day, May 18, 2015. I took mom to Veterans Memorial Hospital for medical treatment after showing signs of Pneumonia and shortness of breath.

After doing some lab tests, which took hours, the doctors came to us and told me that Mom was having a heart attack. It stunned me. I could not believe it. I was afraid that it could be the time for her to go. As I looked at her, her breathing looked worsening.

She had to be admitted in the Medical ICU for treatment and observation but only after a few hours, she had a cardiac arrest. The ICU doctor succeeded in resuscitating her, but the damage to her heart was severe that it could no longer hold on. She died at 11pm of May 18, 2015 of sudden cardiac death.

She was reunited with my father. They died on the same hospital, of the same cause of death. I love my mom so much. I hope I was able to make her feel that love.

Happy Fathers' Day!

Happy Fathers' Day to all the fathers out there and to those who might not have been given a chance to become a father yet, but has been acting like a father in many ways.

This is your special day and I hope that you will enjoy every bit of it.

Again, HAPPY FATHERS DAY!

Kevin Villanueva’s Graduation Picture

The graduation picture of Kevin Villanueva at the gravestone of his parents that he has posted on Facebook has gone viral a couple of days ago.

Kevin Villanueva, 21, visits his parents' grave on his graduation day. He posted this photo on Facebook, and went viral a couple of days ago. He inspired a lot of people (Photo from Villanueva's Facebook page).

The picture warms the heart of many since he has lost both his parents already and on a very important day in his life, which is his graduation, he could no longer share with them the joy and the honor in his heart. All he could do is sit beside their gravestone and pose for a picture as if they can be with him even for a short time.

A graduation picture is one thing I have missed for Dad and Mom. In high school yes, but in our culture, a college degree is still the best honor a child can give his parents and that is something I have failed to give them. Dad has passed away without getting the chance to brag to his friends about a graduating youngest son.

At least, in high school, when I have received the honor of topping the National College Entrance Examination (now defunct) in our batch, I have felt how proud my parents, brother and teachers have been. It is just frustrating that I have missed the chance of honoring my parents with a college diploma.

I guess, the best diploma we can give our parents is not the nice folded paper we get during commencement exercises but other peoples’ testimony about how we use our life for God, our family, our friends and even for the community. It is not always a diploma but the goodness of character in the many facets of living that will define a person in a manner that will bring lasting honor to his or her parents’ name.

Dad's 4th Heavenly Birthday

Dad's gravestone: we brought him some nice flowers

We've been to Dad's grave yesterday, December 17. It's been his fourth death anniversary but I'd like to copy a term for "death anniversary" I've seen on a Facebook account of a pastor: "heavenly birthday". Yes, I believe in my heart that Dad is with the Lord and this is his fourth year there of course just using earthly time.

Sometimes, we try to avoid using the word "death" because it has fearful connotations but for Christians, the physical death is only the door to the one, which is eternal in the presence of the Lord.

Anyways, we have gone to the cemetery early yesterday and we have stayed a little longer than usual. We've been able to talk to the caretaker and we've learned that he has suffered from stroke too and it has damaged seriously his eyes. Because of that, he could no longer continue with his work. He has transferred his obligations in the cemetery to his son.

We did not have ice cream and cake this time... but the feeling of missing Dad still remains and will remain for as long as I live...

All Saints Day 2012

Dad's Tombstone

As always, we went to the cemetery yesterday to remember Dad. It was a fair day so we were able to stay for a few hours. We bought a nice flower arrangement and lighted up candles. We did not offer those as a ritual for the dead though. We just wanted to express how much he means to us and how much we are missing him.

Many people had gone to the cemetery to fix the grave of their loved ones too. Some had brought wonderful flowers that look very expensive. Some enterprising individuals had set up stores to cater to the needs of the people swarming the cemetery. There were drinks and food for those who got thirsty and hungry. Many were setting up tents so they could have a shield against the heat of the sun.

I just hoped that Dad could see us...

Mom Recovers from Stroke

Thank God! Mom has recovered from her stroke. She can walk straight again on her own. She can attend to her own basic needs like going to the CR and walking around the house effortlessly. Thanks also to her doctor, Dr Arwin David, Commonwealth Hospital and Medical Center.

Dad's Birthday 2012

Dad's Remains Resting Place

Yesterday, was Dad's birthday. As always, we went to the cemetery to remember him. Although, we could not stay very long because it was raining. In fact, I was not even able to go near his tombstone because the soil was damp. My wheel chair might get stuck in the mud. It was disappointing.

This time though, I asked Mom's caregiver, Mylene, to take pictures of Dad's tomb area. It was unfortunate that we didn't have any camera at home so I just asked her to use her camera phone (My mobile phone's camera has been broken since four years ago). The shots were not that clear here though. 
 

After several shots, we decided to leave and just come back on All Saints' Day. Maybe,the weather would be better by then and we could stay longer enough.

Mom's First Stroke

This is scary. Mom seems to be suffering from a stroke. We are a bit panicky. She could no longer hold a piece of bread or pill particularly with her left hand. She could no longer stand up straight when she is trying to walk. She feels very weak.

Mylene has called her doctor to inform him of Mom’s condition and find out the necessary steps to do. Her doctor has advised to take her to the hospital for immediate and proper diagnosis. She has to stay in the hospital again.

In the hospital, she is bedridden totally. She could no longer go the CR by herself. She needs to wear diapers for her urine and feces.

The CT-Scan test has shown that Mom has indeed suffered from a mild stroke. Thank God, the blood clots in the brain are minimal. Still, we are not taking any chances.

Allergic Reaction to Medicine

Mom is having a difficult time recuperating because of her allergy to her medicine. Red, itchy rashes has come out of her body particularly her chest area and back. She could not sleep at all at night because of the intolerable itch. Even a sleeping pill, which her doctor has prescribed, could not put her to sleep.

The doctor has decided to stop the medicine for her lungs. The itchiness also has stopped. Her doctor has scheduled a regular chest x-ray to monitor the condition of her lungs. If ever, the condition deteriorates, he would need to reintroduce the medicine but he needs to identify, which particular component is causing the allergic reaction.

Thank God, the condition of her lungs is not deteriorating. It is in fact, healing...

Mom Got Struck by Pneumonia

Mom

Mom is suffering from pneumonia. She is starting to feel difficulty with her breathing so we have decided to take her to the hospital. It is scary since this is the first time that she has to stay in a hospital for a while.

This is the first time also that I have been in a hospital to watch over a sick parent. I have failed to do that to Dad but at least I have a chance to do it to Mom. I try to attend to some of her needs although I cannot do this without the assistance of Mylene. It is quite ironic that I seek assistance so I can assist my Mom, being on a wheel chair.

She has to stay in a private room...

Thank God, the medication has gone smoothly. She has stayed in the hospital for only three days.

Especially for You by Elisha Keren Durant

Oh, I must admit that I have stolen this video clip from the Facebook account of my new favorite singer Elisha Kerren Durant, with her own rendition of "Especially for You". I am proud to boast that she is a member of the FEU chorale. I hope she can forgive me for stealing this video clip....

 

Dad was still alive when Elisha and I met. I did the arrangement of a musical piece for her, "The Day He Wore My Crown", which she used for a musical competition where she won first prize. 

Four years have passed and her voice continues to get better. I believe she has a promising career in the field of music not unless she decides not to pursue it. Great lady with a great voice!

Mom's 81st Birthday Bash

Mom just celebrated her 81st birthday last June 14 but the family celebration was moved to June 16 (yesterday) so that everyone would be present.

We had a great time. Mom was obviously happy with her whole family by her side although her skin allergy was tormenting her. Her doctor had given her steroid tablets to combat the itchiness and rashes, but the symptoms persisted.

All we can do is to wait for the medicines to take effect. Anyway, what's important is that we are all together as one happy family.

Justice for Given Grace (Update)

According to a news report last night on GMA7, two people have been arrested for the brutal rape slay of Given Grace Cebanico; Lester Ivan Lopez Rivera, a security guard in a bank and Percival de Guzman a tricycle driver. An eyewitness have pointed to the two as the persons responsible for the barbaric crime.

De Guzman has admitted participating in the crime in terms of robbery but pointed to his companion, Rivera as the one who has killed Given to clean up the crime. In turn, Rivera has pointed at him as the one who has raped the poor young woman.

Their admission might close the case but justice will not be served until they are convicted in court and suffer the penalty of the crime they have committed; rape with murder.

Given Grace's Father

I have observed two fathers in this tragic incident. First, the father of Given Grace who has kept on weeping and wailing as the police recounts what has happened to Given Grace. It has brought enormous pain on his part to see his beloved daughter dead in the hands of merciless criminals. He has loved her daughter so much yet they have hurt her without reason. The pain and anger he is feeling is beyond description.

Second the grand father of the principal suspect who is crying too because he has had to surrender to the authorities his grandson because he can never tolerate the crime he has committed. The action he has done has brought similar pain and agony to himself but he knows that it is the right thing to do. What he has done is a very difficult but it is still a mark of good fathering: punishing a wrong doing. He has asked for forgiveness from the victim's family for what his grandson has done.

I pray that both fathers find comfort in the most trying time of their lives.

I Support the Call for Justice for Given Grace

I have been ministering with young people in church. In fact, church youth members comprise our church bands and most of them are in teen age.

Young people are very passionate and energetic with their activities and it is really fun to be with the young.

I am writing this post to support the call for justice for Given Grace Cebanico. She is a Computer Science student of the University of the Philippines Los Banos. She has been murdered last Tuesday with a bullet wound in the head. Her killers has dumped her dead body, with her mouth covered with packaging tape and her hands cuffed in a canal near the university. Initially, there has been indications of rape according to reports but there is no confirmation of that as of this time but her laptop, cellular phone and wallet have been stolen.

The dreadful incident has filled local news last night and it has brought reasonable fear to many parents who have children studying in UPLB. I understand one of our young people is studying in UPLB too.

Even if I do not have a teenage daughter or sister, I can share in the feeling of concern and worry for these young people who spend much of their time away from home because of their studies. I really pray that the perpetrators of this insane, senseless and gruesome murder would be brought to justice. Such acts have no room in a civilized society.

We can only pray for these young people that they may always be safe whenever they are outside the home. At the same time I urge young people to care for each other when they group together and never let a group mate especially a teenage girl walk home or to her dormitory alone late at night.

Mom’s A Candidate for Insulin Shot

Mom and I

Mom has gone to her doctor the other day for her regular check up. Her lab results reveal high cholesterol, high triglycerides and high fasting blood sugar. It’s good her creatinine is normal. It means her kidneys are functioning well.

However, her doctor says her blood sugar level is already alarming and if it would not go down, she would need to get insulin shots.

I would need to manage her diet well. My problem is that I could not take it when she asks for sweets like ice cream and cake. I would easily give in. I guess, this time, I have to be stricter. I have heard about sugar free cakes so I do not have a problem with that but she loves Ice Cream; with that I have a problem because I will have to say goodbye to Ice Cream too.

I will have to take care of Mom so we could still be together for a longer time. I’m sure that’s what Dad would ask me to do.

Mom Dreams About Dad

Mom and I

A couple of days before Dad’s birthday, Mom has become sick. She has suffered from a form of allergic dermatitis and her head and face has become swollen. Her doctor has prescribed anti-biotic, anti-histamine and mefenamic acid for the swelling.

Mom complains of headache because of the swelling and when her blood pressure shoots up at the same time, the pain intensifies. It’s an ordeal for her.

One morning, she woke up very early. After she went to the comfort room, she went back to the sofa and sat. Apparently, she was still very sleepy. She took her transistor radio and turned it on. While the music filled the room, it seemed to lull her back to sleep sitting down.

After several minutes, our house assistant saw Mom in that position and noticed that the radio was slowly slipping off her hands. Fearing that it would fall and break, she took it from her hands. She thought she was awake. However, that motion woke up Mom very abruptly and so she was infuriated.

She said Dad visited her in her sleep and was serenading her. It seemed so real, she said but our house assistant broke the romantic scene :-( She felt so bad about it but after a while, she was OK again.

I hope Dad is not trying to fetch Mom. I am not ready… and I guess I will never be ready...

Dad’s 74th Birthday

If Dad is alive today, he would turn 74 years old. It has been almost three years since he has passed away but it still feels so sad. It is so sad to be without a Dad who so caring and loving.

I would love to have ice cream and cake on his birthday because that’s how we have always celebrated his birthday when he is still here with us but Mom’s a little sick lately; her face is a bit swollen because of allergy. We are also controlling her diabetes milletus so she should not indulge with sweets so much but definitely Mom would ask to prepare a special dish for all of us to celebrate Dad’s birthday.

We will definitely visit his grave. Maybe not today because its Sunday and I will be in church the whole day today just as what Dad and I have always done before when he is still here with us.

This day will always be a special day for the family.

Dad’s Mahogany Tree

Around ten years ago or even more, Dad planted two mahogany seedlings at the open space opposite our house. At first, he had no knowledge that those were mahogany trees, he just wanted to plant trees for the shade they could provide especially that the area was our subdivision’s plaza where the people constructed a basketball court through the effort of our city mayor.

The trees had grown big and sturdy, although during fall, falling leaves had been irritating some neighbors and were complaining because they had to sweep the dead leaves as the trees tirelessly shed off their dried foliage. We, too, had been exasperated about the complains and wanted to cut down the trees to please the people.

However, a Presidential Decree prohibits cutting down trees especially valued species like narra and mahogany. We could trim them but we could never cut down down.

Until, a few days ago, typhoon Pedring struck Metro-Manils with vicious wind reaching about 170 kph. In a matter of few hours, one of the mahogany trees was uprooted and tumbled toward the basketball court. Fortunately, the court had been deserted but unfortunately, I did not have a camera to capture the incident. As the tree slammed the concrete floor, it pulled up with its roots the water pipe and broke the water line rendering the entire subdivision without water for many hours.

I don't have a camera but Dad's fallen mahogany looks almost like this. Image c/o Google Images

Those trees remind me of Dad and the fallen mahogany tree reminds me of Dad’s passing; unexpected and sudden. Life, indeed, is not within our control and like Dad’s mahogany tree, the time will come when we would need to give it up. Are you ready?

The Lagro UMC Children’s Choir

Last Sunday, we have celebrated in church Christian Education Sunday. Our children’s choir has rendered a beautiful song during the divine worship under the direction of Mrs Becky Almazar (choir director of the Lagro UMC Chancel Choir).

The children were so cute to see… I remember Dad loves kids... I invite you to watch the video footage below…

Grandparents Day: Special Day for the Elderly

Last September 11, the nation celebrated the Grandparents Day. It is a day intended to honor the elderly for their important contribution in shaping society by their hard work and sacrifices in bring up their children and children’s children. It is a special day for all of us to think about how they have influenced our lives.

Marian McQuade is the founder of Grandparents Day as recognized by the US. She has lived from January 18, 1917 to September 26, 2008. She served on the West Virginia Commission on Aging and the Nursing Home Licensing Board.

McQuade’s efforts centers on cultivating in the youth the value of the elderly regarding their contributions to life and society. The resolution about the proclamation of Grandparents Day has been initiated in the US Senate in 1973 but the resolution has only been signed by President Carter in September 1978, which designates the first Sunday after Labor Day as Grandparents Day beginning 1979. After tenn years, The US Postal Service has come up with a commemorative envelope in celebration of Grandparents Day with the image of Marian McQuade in her honor.

Grandparents Day Graphics

In church, we have celebrated Grandparents Day too. We have called all grandparents in front of the sanctuary and have given them small tokens of love and appreciation for the wonderful time they have given to us, their children and children’s children. Then, the celebration have culminated with a special prayer by our pastor over them.

This is another special occasion that brings special memories of my Dad…