Abandoned Grave

While we were at the cemetery, I noticed some adjacent plots that looked forlorn. One marble epitaph was broken into two, heavily soiled, and the etchings had faded and almost illegible. Apparently, the family of whoever had been buried in that particular grave plot had long ceased visiting.

I was wondering what could have happened, that the grave had been abandoned. Visiting memorial gardens had been an important tradition in Filipino culture. Some apply religious beliefs but for me, our family, we preserve the memory of my Dad; Dad’s life, which he had given to us, his family, for the most part of it. In our memory, we could feel him as if he’s still with us..

We asked the caretaker about what had happened to the abandoned grave plot we saw. He said, “The one visiting had stopped coming. The last thing I heard, he had died too”.

It made me think, when we too had left the earth, would the same happen to Dad’s burial place? Perhaps... As people die, memories die too. They will only continue to live on the earth, as long as those whom they had left living, continue to keep their memories living in their hearts. 

When people stop to remember, they will soon abandon graves and monuments. Culture and heritage will soon die too. The next generation will lose their identity and will live without a cultural backbone. If one does not know who he is, how can he know where he should be?

It's Dad's Birthday Today

We went to the cemetery this morning. The weather did not look good but we went anyway. We managed to get there before the rain fell. It was a bit embarrassing cause the tricycle driver needed to carry me from my wheel chair to the back seat and back to my wheel chair. I brought a pusher for easy carrying.

Since it had been raining the past three days, the soil was moist and muddy. Although, it was a lawn cemetery, there were grassless portions. Going to the plot took a little time. The epitaph was nice and clean this time. We were there for more than thirty minutes and we wanted to stay longer but the rain suddenly fell. We didn’t know if it would stop or continue for the next hours so we had to leave.

It was not a very long visit but at least we had another chance to remember Dad on his birthday.

Fixing Epitaphs

We went to the cemetery this morning. Dad’s place looked good although the marble epitaph had faded a bit.  Mom asked the caretaker to fix it and polish it again for dad’s birthday on Saturday. The caretaker said he would douse it with muriatic acid to remove the soiled spots and dust, then he would re-paint the embossed name with black glossy paint.

We’ll go back on Saturday for Dad’s birthday. I hope it wouldn’t rain. 

 Photo courtesy of:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Libingan_ng_mga_Bayani

Till Death Do Us Part

It is dad’s 73^rd  birthday in a week’s time. Time really passes so swiftly. We will surely go to the cemetery to pay his remains a visit then probably we’ll try to celebrate his birthday as we have always done as a family. Of course, it can never be the same again. The ice cream and cake would not bring back the warmth of his presence but we can remember the happy days that we have always had together as one family.

I remember our chess games. He is good at it and I would seldom take a game. We have also had some basketball games during his younger days while I am still a boy. We have had wonderful times together especially when he would take me along to his work; testing revolvers and rifles at firing ranges particularly at the AFP-GHQ-RDC Compound at Libis, Quezon City. I really love it! We are inseparable. Even when I’m a grown up; most especially in church ministry. Until, he has succumbed to a sudden cardiac death due to renal failure. It is the time when I have fully absorbed the essence of “till death do us part”. Yes, this line has always been used by couples for their pledge of love in wedding ceremonies but the essence of separation in that line is true to any form of relationship and you can never prepare for it. It would always be crushing when it happens most especially if it has come unexpectedly.

(pix taken from: http://gloredel.deviantart.com/art/Father-and-son-77338867

the photographer: Marie Gloredel from DeviantArt.com

profile: http://gloredel.deviantart.com/

email: gloredel@gmail.com)

A Feeble Old Man

Image of an Old Man from Psychology Today

A couple of days ago, I went to the bank with mom to withdraw her pension. While waiting for our turn, I saw an elderly man who reminded me of dad. He had some mannerisms similar to dad’s particularly after his stroke.

The feeble old man walked slowly toward the verification counter. He presented his passbook to the bank officer who immediately took it, looked at it and placed it on a small mountain of passbooks in a small plastic container while he kept his eyes on his passbook. She then told the old man (in Filipino), “We’ll just call your name, Sir,” and she went on with the other paper works. The old man was silent as he looked at his passbook and remained in front of the counter for several seconds, then he moved reluctantly one step back. He lingered in his place for several more seconds while looking at his passbook before he slowly walked a few steps behind.

Not very long after that, the bank officer called out his name and returned his passbook. Apparently, he had his passbook updated. He walked toward the table at the back to fill up a withdrawal slip and he returned to the counter immediately afterwards. When he handed his passbook to the bank officer again, she said the same words, “We’ll just call your name, Sir.” Again, the old man did the same thing, he was looking at his passbook as the bank officer placed it on the plastic container again.

The old man looked helpless and weak as he was alone. It moved me. I thought about dad. Tears threatened to escape my eyes but I held them back. It was too embarrassing to cry in a public place you know. I thought about those times when he went to the bank to withdraw his pension alone. Did he act the same way? One time he lost his wallet but he did not know where he lost it exactly. Did anyone assisted him?

It’s been almost two years since he passed away but I still sorely miss him…

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Note: The image above is from Psychology Today particularly from the article that tackles the issues that grip old age.

A Rainy Day Visit

Mom and I thought about going to the cemetery to visit dad’s burial place. There was no particular occasion; we just want to see it and make sure that it would not look forlorn. It looked fine except for a little fading of his name on the marble marker. The lawn grass had greened after the hard rains the previous days. We just asked the caretaker to fix the eroded edges of the plot.

While we were there, the rain started to fall. Our visit was cut short but we will be back soon for his birthday.

Empower People with Disabilities

For a while, Dad suffered from paralysis too after his stroke in January 2006, although it was not that long. He recovered right away after about a month of continuous physical therapy. Of course, he was not as strong as he used to be but at least he was able to regain his mobility.

Still, I knew he was having a hard time riding passenger jeepneys (usual public transport in the Philippines) so he would prefer most of the time to walk whenever he wanted to go somewhere within walking distance from home. I guess, that was one reason he recovered his walking fast- he liked to walk.

I just hope that elderly people can enjoy adequate walking spaces at the side of the road, which could encourage them to walk at the same time lessening the risk of getting bumped by passing vehicles. 

Wheel chair dependent people can also use that road amenity. Maybe the government can do something about it.